To Dream or Not to Dream

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I feel just like a little kid! You wake up in the middle of the night and you just know what you want. What will make you happy. What you can’t live without and then you spend every spare bit of brain power and physical energy trying to get what your mind has imagined.

Then you get it….you’ve waited for weeks or months or even years….and that dream drops in your lap….and for whatever reason….the distance from the dream, the reality of the concept..the “thing” somehow doesn’t match the dream. You feel disappointed, or overwhelmed or maybe even angry. How could all that waiting pay off like this?…How could all that energy poured into “the dream” end like this…?

So here we are…at the doorstep of “my dream”.  Months of waiting for a yoga studio to fall in my lap. A studio full of bright colors, amazing climbing toys waiting to be explored, bright colored mats just waiting for little bodies to twist and bend on them, laughter filling every empty corner. But instead an empty building, full of drywall dust, covered in grey poupon mustard yellow paint, with no light covers and a concrete floor….looming in front of me….that says “Look at the possibilities!”

But my mind says “Look at the work( shoulders dropping in a dejected slump)…painting, fixing, coaxing, trying to building the space into “Omtastic Yoga”.  “Where’s the “tastic” part where you catch your breath in disbelief cause the reality is better that the dream?” I ask myself. “Where did my bright shiny dream go?”

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These are times you have to let go of that ego who demands so much and just take a deep breath, hold the possibilities in your mind’s eye and trust…..knowing that nothing will happen if you don’t take that first step!

So funny, that I ran across this old writing in the myriad of file folders and save “junk” in by virtual file cabinet. It brought back so many memories of that time. Of the creation energy that Robin and I pour into that shabby space and watched it transform into magic! And, yes, it was magic! When the space was filled with yoga birthday parties and special events and kids doing yoga, the magic oozed out of every cell of that building. But, there just weren’t enough of those magic moment to pay the rent. For a year we struggled and pour our own money into the dream. But it still wasn’t enough. So we moved to a new location and cheaper rent and started again. This space was a old school that was being repurposed and we took it as a sign. Both of us being teachers, we just knew that this is the space that would be filled with the laughter of kids. Starting again from dirt and dust, we created heaven. Bright colors, events full of music and laughter.

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Still, it wasn’t enough. More money poured out than poured in and again the decision had to be made. How long could we hold on?

So Omtastic Yoga closed it physical location and once again I had to shift by dream. I still believe in the purpose that is behind the dream. Brining yoga and mindfulness to kids is so essential. As I write this addendum to this blog ago started blog, now kids, families, everyone needs perspective, coping tools, regulation and balance in the mists of this global pandemic.

Our whole world has shifted to isolation, and online schools and homeschooling and families together 24/7. I read about depression and stress and anxiety.

So again, we morph into what we hope will fill this void. Support, tools, coping. Love, caring, compassion.

I pour my heart into helping kids and training teachers to help kids. In my heart, I love what I do and have realized as I write, that it is not about money. It is not about fame. It is about love and shared beliefs. I love the kids that I can connect with. I love their resilience, their strength and their optimism. I know that we will get to the other side of this life we are in now; one breath and one yoga pose at a time and I know that in my own small way I will have made a difference.

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